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Revenge – S03.13 – Hatred

It’s fair to say that Miz has no idea what just happened in this episode. Were the writers on crack?! So. So. Confused.

They’ve turned Sara into a baddie, Daniel continues to annoy the hell out of anyone with brains, Conrad still is “nice” (kinda) with being in lurrve, Emily’s pain threshold is super high/insane, and yet Vicky’s character turned a corner by confiding in Patrick about the person that raped her. Patrick evil painting slash arson whop whop. However the actor who plays Daniel (Josh Bowman) is super.bad. Not believable AT ALL. His face never changes; he looks the same happy or angry evil.

Sara being shacked up with Daniel was never going to work. Stupid move Daniel and you need to know that you put Sara in a terrible position. And don’t even get Miz started on how terrible Sara is for getting back with the guy who almost killed her in a drunk driving accident. Why on earth did she fall into bed with Daniel again?! AND he’s STILL drinking. Argh, it’s a terrible storyline. And Sara should have run away from the Greyson’s while she had a chance. YOU HAD A CHANCE. I don’t like to say that she got what she deserved, but she certainty didn’t help herself in any way, shape or form.

Sara vs Emily was only going to go the way of Emily.

EWW Jack and Frenchie. So in love that Jack is trying to find a house for both of them to live with Carl. A.K.A. happily ever after. Surely Frenchie should be getting the hell out of the Hamptons which Conrad taking her and her family’s legacy down.

And then of course Aiden was stupid enough to not get rid of the murder weapon (katana). I mean really: He was a trained assassin for crying out loud. Niko obviously found out the weapon so has deduced that Aiden killed her father. Bad news for Aiden but at least that’s some (hopefully excellent) second storyline from Emily vs Daniel’s destruction of each other.

And don’t even get me started on Emily’s blackouts. Convenient? Drugs? Waking up in Conrad’s bed? Oh man, crack-o-licious.

Verdict: Way way too many plot holes for this episode to be viable. Writers were on crack. Pity that they have to stop for the Winter Olympics coverage.

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Revenge – S03.12- Endurance

Called Endurance. Miz ENDURED this episode. URGH it’s like it lost everything good about the previous episode/direction. Weak epsidoe but in hindsight I guess it set everything post-shooting-on-the-boat-and-framing-victoria up.

Recap:

  • Nolan wears a striped jacket – that’s literally the main thing I took away from this episode AND it was in the opening shots!! Candy striper yahoo.
  • Daniel is still a drip. Kill him off already.
  • Emily regained her memories (boo-urns).
  • Emily’s hair has been browned (is that even a word?). Basically more belivable character-wise or something. And this means that she has hung up her revenegey hat. Or something. PLOT TWIST!
  • Emily can’t have babies. That’s sad face. Stupid Daniel shooting her uterus. Maybe that’s what Baby Carl is for.
  • Urgh Sara. GO AWAY.
  • Ugh Aiden. DO AWAY. Or be killed by Niko due to Takeda’s death. Ozzies are hard beasts – don’t cross them. Whoops, too late.
  • Patrick. I was rooting for you and Nolan. I really really really want more Nolan sexytime / true love. you ruined it. But I am fully in CAMP NOLAN. GO AWAY NO ONE LIKES YOU.
  • What happened to Charlotte?
  • YES JACK! Punch Daniel. You GO GUY.
 
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Revenge – S03.11 – Homecoming

Em is alive!! But not as we know her. Not as she knows herself. She doesn’t remember anything. Except that David Clark is her father. Excellent twist and Miz suspects that this will turn a stagnant tv show back into it’s former glory. And of course Jack was able to reach into the real Emily and bring her back into herself, by simply kissing her on her forehead and giving her a talisman from Amanda-Emily. And then she remembered Daniel shot her. Yes, well played girl.

And of course Lydia was going to get framed here. Don’t mess with Vicky. Though why Conrad didn’t just triple-cross Vicky and then set HER up, thus saving  Daniel and FRAMING VICKY. Miz could write this show. And while we are talking about Daniel, why wasn’t he even concerned that HE SHOT A PERSON? Yes he wanted to hand himself in, but that was much more for his own self rather than human emotion of guilt/sadness/any normal range of human emotion. Perhaps he’s hungover. Well he bloody well deserves to!!

And an Australian assassin – Niko??. Literally sounds the same as the person who narrates criminal investigation Australia. With an Australian name. That means that her and Aiden can live happily ever after. Yah Emily and Jack = end game. But weird that we have literally never heard or seen her before.

Patrick is not Team Nolan; Patrick is Team Vicky. Sad face for Nolan. Now he can exact all the revenge with Emily. Sneaky Patrick is going to be his downfall. Move the safe Nolan. RIGHT NOW.

Oh and no shirtless boys in this episode. Boo-urns.

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Revenge – S03.10 – Exodus

This is it. This is the episode that Miz has been waiting for over the last 2 and a half seasons. Emily getting her revenge-on Vicky. “Only you could make vengeance so beautiful.” – Nolan. If you haven’t seen this episode, then don’t read this post. I’m warning you. Super dooper spoilers ahead.

Firstly, the non-essential plot points:

Wedding dress: beautiful, but made her look super square. And I think I saw panty line. Could have been better. AND then she wore a different poofy bottom to the ceremony itself. I guess if you’ve got a costume budget… Talking about budget, I mean it was a nice wedding but it certaintly wasn’t a great gatsby/hampton’s wedding was it? TechSupport (who was watching from afar in the corner) said that she should have sorted her hair differently than what she normally wears in her revengey-every-day-lives.

(Also, Lydia’s red dress was AWESOME but NOT.AT.ALL appropriate for a wedding. Doesn’t stop Miz from wanting it though. Verdict is out on the spew yellow/green dress.)

The sexual tension between the newly found Patrick and Vicky was still there, even after all this time! Vicky wore a negligee and Patrick left his hands on his mother’s shoulders slight.too.long. It’s like GOT all over again. I see your mouth moving “mom” and yet your eyes are saying “bedfellow”.

Talking about bedfellows. Does everyone in the world want Nolan to JUST BE HAPPY?! Nolan-in-tails deserves to have some sham-bang too.

Miz also enjoyed the flashback on Emily’s journey throughout the episode.

I also enjoyed Sara and Jack’s sexytime eyes and heart-to-heart. It was a tragic scene but it was super adorable. I liked it. BUT THEN things went DOWNHILL. Sara, what are you doing?? The suicide attempt wasn’t foreshadowed at all.

Vicky throwing the bracelet overboard was sadface – all that gun residue.

No one just leaves a remote lying around that operates the secret passage to the safe. TOTES UNREALISTIC.

Right, onto the main event: Emily is “dead-ed” and who shot her?

How about THAT for the shooter?! Daniel Grayson. You naughty boy. Not only did you ring Sara on your WEDDING NIGHT, you also shot Emily. What were you thinking?! Drunk? Argh, writers should have stopped with the drunken storyline. But it was a nice twist about Daniel shooting Em. Sure, he was on my list, but I always thought he was too weak to actually do something about it. I guess Drunk Daniel Loves Sara And Upset About Life isn’t weak at all.

BUT – why the hell did Aiden leave Lydia and Vicky ALONE. Thought the plan was to lock Vicky (and presumably whoever was with her) in the bathroom to screw over the alibi. What was Aiden thinking here?! This screwed everything up – allowed everything to uncoil [Also, Miz tried to write “untoil” which apparently isn’t a word; the things you don’t know). Is Aiden not Team Emily after all?! Confused. AND how did Daniel get gun?

Final thought: Emily can’t really be dead. Can she?! This would blow my mind. Oh please say she’s deaded.!! Or at least playing dead FOR EVERYONE. But Jack. Jack and Ems forever.

Actual final thought: Em’s wedding vows were to Jack. And to revenge. And they were beautiful: Daniel, I’ve looked forward to this day since I was a little girl. Thank you for letting me into your life, into your family. Through you, I’ve become the woman that I always wanted to be, the woman that I needed to be. From the moment I met you, I knew that this moment was in our destiny. We share a bond that is unbreakable. Until death parts us.

PS Miz apoligises for the shouty BITS in this post. It was just outrageous. The whole episode. And that is a testament to this episode and everything coming together. Haven’t been this excited for a Revenge episode for ages!
Photos - Revenge - Season 3 - Promotional Episode Photos - Episode 3.10 - Exodus - Revenge - Episode 3.10 - Exodus - Promotional Photos (28)
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Revenge S03.06 – Dissolution and S03.07 – Resurgence

Ok so in big-time catch-up mode here, I’m doing these babies back-to-back. And, given how convoluted this series has become of late, that may make for an even more confusing post than usual. Yay! 🙂

First off, the main thing that stood out from these eps was Yay the boys club!! Nolan and Jack finally having The Talk about Emily is the bestest thing ever and I am crazy glad this has happened. First off, it gives them both someone to talk to, as Nolan so eloquently pointed out (honestly, he gets all the best lines), which they need for both general sharing of the Em-stress and also for helping each other avoid the fallout that occasionally (frequently) occurs in the wake of one of Emily’s schemes. Secondly, it was just really sweet (after some characteristic over-reacting; seriously, is everyone in the Hamptons on drugs this season? Calm the farm, folks) and brings back an emphasis to them having a relationship, which I miss – it’s hella cute on its own and really good for Jack; without Nolan, we only ever see Angry!Jack (with Emily), Sad!Jack (with Charlotte) or Confused!Jack (with Margot). None of these is as endearing as Awesome!Jack, who now pretty much only comes out to play when Nolan is there, being equally awesome. Thirdly, they can talk Emily out of ANYTHING to do with Aidan. I am super glad that their joining forces forced her hand into telling them the whole plan, because you just know they will not stand for a) Aidan’s involvement (excellent callout about his uselessness) or b) her disappearing at the end of it. Interesting that she’s intending to frame Vicky for her own murder though – not sure how that will clear her dad’s name or bring down Conrad but I guess it’s a part of something larger? And will explain the scene we saw at the start of the series. Fourthly, I was starting to become slightly worried that Nolan and Jack (the only two male characters worth caring about on the show) were failing a sort of reverse Bechdel test. Alone, they were only concerned with romance, in company with Emily they were only able to talk about her revenge plots. It was getting boring. On which topic, Emily – ‘be rational’ is shitty advice to someone who comes to you with tidings of a new relationship, even if the person they are into is a psychotically unhinged murderous almost-Grayson. And I hope to the Elder Gods that Jack and Nolan have a talk about romance soon, because holy wow Jack – you are super lucky Margot still wants to hook up with you after you sent some of the most crazy mixed signals in tv history by setting up the Most Romantic and Expectation-Creating Date Ever and then bailing?! And also sad blah Amanda’s dead blah. Sorry to be heartless, but that was last season, we didn’t like her that much, you never really knew her, it’s time to move on. Though not with Margot, she annoys me.

A consequence of this recent trend of letting everyone (including the viewer) into people’s minds a little more is that it’s painting Emily in a much better light. She’s seeming much more concerned about proactively protecting good people and all (unless they try to separate her and Daniel – eep!) but I’m slightly worried that this is to do with the writers feeling they may not be back for a fourth season and getting ready to wind up Emily’s story for good at the end of the series. It’s also kind of intriguing, though I have concerns about Emily’s plans, as above. But it’s better than being told nothing, which was getting annoying.

However, when did Aidan and Emily vanishing into the sunset become a thing that was going to happen?!? I am dismayed for several reasons. Firstly this means Aidan is not just being played by Emily (unless she’s playing some hella long game, and even so she has no reason to spin that lie to Nolan and Jack, surely?) and she is actually in love with him again. Sigh. NO! Bad Emily!! Margot will not make Jack happy, and it goes without saying that Aidan is an arrogant toolbag who will not make you happy (I said it anyway because you appear to be amazingly dense with regards to this issue). The happy ending is you and Jack getting a new puppy and living in a fabulous house next door to Nolan who cooks you treats and whose children play with yours. Children he has not spawned with a murderer, narc or terrible actress. Getting back with Aidan ruins this!! THIS IS WHY YOU CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. *breathe*

Ooookay. On to Vicky!! And Patrick, because those two are sexually confused conjoined twins. I have zero idea what is going on with these two – their motives aren’t just confused, they’re unintelligible. Does Patrick actually like Nolan? Did he really intend to kill Conrad and have no idea he could hurt innocent people (because dude, really?!)? Is he really on such good terms with his ex-wife (and why didn’t that story go anywhere? Will we learn more soon? That was weird) and is she who Nolan thinks she is? Does Victoria actually intend to leave Conrad eventually – why does him having money change that? She can still get money from him if they’re not living together, surely? Does she really trust Patrick enough to put her entire future (well, a gallery) into his hands? And does she really care that little that he tried to *murder* someone and caused the death of an innocent man?!? So. Much. Confuse. I am at least glad that what I thought was her transferring her inappropriate sexual chemistry with Patrick to Aidan (note to self – if ever visiting Grayson manor, bring barricades for bathroom doors) was actually nothing of the sort, but her throwing him out so quickly is super odd too. Ugh, she’s a hot mess of wut atm. And I find it really odd that she was so eager for Charlotte to take the blame for Patrick. I thought she was super eager to get Charlotte to love her again?!

More confusion with Conrad – why does he need a publicist? Surely he’s become the Hamptons’ answer to Anthony Weiner by now – his career should be unsalvageable. Also, didn’t he resign as Governor? So, what is he rehabilitating his image for? And while I’m glad Nolan got a little revenge of his own (and ow, that story was pretty dreadful! But also evil!Nolan is haaawwwwttt…) does this mean the PR onslaught will have been checked? If so it feels really weird – that was a full-on media management strategy Ms Bizzy was planning – not the sort of thing that goes away because you get fired (and surely Conrad wouldn’t keep her once all her other clients drop her, nē?) so removing her wouldn’t solve Emily’s problems.

Another slight plot-gripe – surely once Conrad’s called and bawled out his lawyer for not noticing that they lost 30ft of ground (thus making them erosion-prone?) said lawyer would’ve done some digging and found out that the one document the estate agent found on the record didn’t match the copy presumably held at the Environmental agency / by the lawyer himself? That seems like a very weak plot to stop the house sale, Ems, although I guess it only has to hold for a few weeks, and you’ve successfully smeared Conrad with every estate agent for miles, so maybe it’s all she needs. After all, as we keep being reminded, it All Ends August 8.*

Lastly and leastly, Daniel and his wandering penis. I mean, heart. Sigh. They’ve brought in Sarah in a rush, and I just don’t care, and Charlotte’s trying to be sneaky, and I just… Ugh. Sarah seems sweet, or whatever, but I am not going to be sad when she gets taken down. And I can’t believe Daniel ‘truly loves her’ because a few weeks ago, while still engaged to Emily, he was considering hooking up with Margot, and he has shown no intention of breaking up with Ems because of Carcrash girl – basically I assume he has terrible short-term memory and can only concentrate on the boobs right in front of him at that very second. It’s not that he’s unfaithful, it’s that he’s brain-damaged.

*Minor whinge – I don’t like that the big finale, which will air in probably March or April, is set for August 8. I know they have to have it set at the end of summer because that’s when people are in the Hamptons (and 8/8 double infinity clever woo), but I got super excited when Dr Who (Whovian comparisons always being relevant) managed to work a Very Important Date (the end of space and time / Big Bang Take II / Amy’s wedding) into the transmission date of the series finale and it feels weird to have everyone going ‘ooh August 8 August 8’ when you know it’s gonna happen in like April. Sigh. Why can’t everything be a little more Whovian?

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The Mentalist – Fire and Brimstone

So, seemingly this episode whittles down the Red John suspects to three, excludes the Visualize members, a gun shot goes off, and there is an explosion where no doubt someone/some people are killed (or made to look like they are killed). Miz needs some time to digest this episode as there were many illusions to past RJ crimes.

New prediction: It’s going to be the Sheriff. Well that’s my thoughts for this week.

(Also it seems as though this episode has been postponed in the US of A until next Sunday due to NFL overrun.)

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Revenge – S03.05 – Control

Miz was amped up from watching The Block. TechSupport was in bed. Miz still had wine in her glass. Thus follows Revenge. JJ, feel free to give an actual review soon ha! This is pretty much the one liners that Miz would have shouted if JJ was nearby slash feel free to read these while watching this episode. In summary: Nolan kills it in quotes this episodes.

Miz wishes she has a green and red security system to tell her when her alarm was enabled and un-enabled/disabled.

I guess Aiden hasn’t lied to Emily, but I would be pissed at him if I was her (pinning the brakes on Jack).

Topless Jack. YAH!

Patrick by a pool. Again.

Daniel’s speckled grey suit is okay. Is this new fashion? Have I lost track on what is cool or not? Heaven forbid.

Yip, Daniel and Emily should never been married.

i wants Vicky’s red lipstick. Reckon there is a site that sells that?

VICKY IS WEARING THAT DRESS?! That is like exactly like her Vera Wang wedding/vows renewal dress. Right? Or am I losing my mind??

Charlotte’s hair. Miz wants it.

Charlotte mentioned Sarah. Is that the one that Daniel hurt during drunk driving? Way low writers, way low.

Nolan asked Patrick about Mama Bear. CUTE> Also Patrick found out about Nolan approaching his ex-wife. Ru-row.

GO HOME French girl. That shade of yellow is all wrong on you. Also, take Daniel with you. Elope. Yes, do that.

Vicky’s hair is nice. Dare I say that unless Em strikes me down.

Why isn’t Vicky at her new art gallery job?

Have Jack and Aiden actually never met????? JJ, CONFUSED. Surely they have!!

Wants Nolan’s teal jacket.

“.. I’m kinda tired about how this stuff is screwing up our lives.”. Us too Nolan, us too. This whole scene had good quotes which basically sum up the entire show.

Yah half naked Aiden.

Swoon, Em’s dress and whole look. Stealing. Oh and then  in a later scene we see it is a black pants suit. No deal.

French girl is wearing shiny stuffs. It’s cool. But I don’t like racerback. I just don’t think that racerback makes for formal party wear.

Charlotte’s dress is ug. Colour is excellent though, just wish it fitted better.

Jack is Team Emily. They work out that Aiden is behind this. Boo. “Who are you”. “You can’t even trust the people you have on your side”. Aint that the truth.

Can I have Charlotte’s up do sans fringe when I get married?

Aiden is jealous. Well duh. Reckon Em’s will run off and be all revengeful on something that Aiden dictates/ nah-ah. Aiden will die.

Patrick has muscles. Yip yip. Pause.

6 months has gone by??? WTF. That’s not a summer.

Vicky is wearing sequins which Miz likes. Thigh slit, no deal.  sigh.

Daniel feels like he is playing a role. Well, he is. But sad that he has real emotions. Granted, they shouldn’t be together, but it’s still sad. The break up could have been done better though!!

“The more things you try to control, the more room for error.” Nolan is KILLING it with soundbites this episode. Can’t be upset about that.

CHARLOTTE did the brakes?! No deal. Argh, Charlotte, go home / off to college. No one likes you. Except your fringe. I like your bangs. There is no way that Conrad is being sincere. Also, I think I don’t like the actor that plays Conrad.

But then of course, Patrick did it. Maybe? What did she have over Charlotte to make HER confess. ARGH THIS SHOW!!! There’s no way she wants to protect Jack. This show makes no sense.

Is the boat the same place as she gets shot in her wedding dress? Or wedding rehearsal white fluffy dress?

You didn’t grow up in a house just like this. You grew up IN THIS HOUSE. So many lies.

Em tears. Sad. But she is a good actress. She doesn’t even like Daniel. Wedding saved.

Jack is going to go all INSANE on your ass as kid is out of the way.

YES PATRICK AND NOLAN!!! BEST PASH EVER>