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Revenge S3.04 – Mercy

Whew there was a lot of double-crossing in the air tonight! Hot on the heels (in show-time) of the revelation that Oh-Gods-Why-Is-He-Back, aka Aidan, was working *with* Ems, this episode’s Tricksy Little Hobbit award has to go to Patrick, for swapping teams with a fluidity that would make a dolphin jealous. But most importantly from him tonight – HE CALLS HIS MAMA VICKY. That means I can, also, because reasons. Yuss!!! However, their relationship is still really, really far from being healthy. Stop making it awkward, writers/directors/actors!!!

In more palatable story arcs, just in case we were confused about Conrad’s recent change of heart, and starting to doubt whether his two-dimensional villainy might be developing a third, morally ambiguous dimension, he becomes one of the few people to have a near death experience and decide to become a worse person because of it. Awesome. Also, he killed Fr Paul, and that makes me stabbity. Ems too, so his goose is well and truly cooked. And Daniel well and truly throws his lot in with papa and co., even going so far as to take relationship advice from the Man With No Friends, so no way will Ems spare him now. And that is all I will say about him. Because blah. Oh, except to say that his parting shot to Daddykins, about “I’m building this on hard work, not legacy”? Um, no. If you weren’t a Grayson, no-one would have invested in the mag, and you wouldn’t have even known who to approach. Asschapeau!!

In prettier news, I appreciated that Nolan told us he and Patrick were meeting at a Beach Club, because genuinely I had no idea what that weird pool-changing-room-sun-lounger-repository place was. For realsies! I thought it might have been part of someone’s house, or a Home for Gorgeous Menfolk What Have Become Entangled With Emotionally Stressful Wimmins. But no, Beach Club (whatever that is).

Back at chez-Noles, the techno relapse was adorably done, even if I’m still not sure how he intended to, y’know, *live* without tech. But he’s back in super hacker mode now, so yay! And digging up the dirt on Patrick! Yay! But still wearing a child’s grody bandana as an accessory. NO. BAD NOLAN. We talked about this just last week!!! *sigh*

I’m pleased to see how no-nonsense he is with Mystery Lady #17, aka Patrick’s Wronged Missus – “oh, hi, I know stuff. Wanna chat to me and my big wad o’ cash*?”

*Not a euphemism. Probably.

Ahem. Anyway, speaking of probably cynically calculated ‘romantic’ entanglements, the man himself (Patrick) was in fine fettle tonight – appearing to steal from Mama Dearest, only for it to turn out to be an *extremely* elaborate plot for her to punish her condescending and bitchy frenemy and steal a gallery. Nice work! The family that grifts together… should still not be so inappropriately Lannister-y! Gosh…

While I remain staunchly opposed to Jack becoming involved (because he needs to be the Good that Emily can turn to at the end of her wee journey), I do love them Doing Adventures together, plus being pressed up against derelict cars is good for the romantic tension, and turns out Jack is kind of awesome at Detecting. Also, I love watching Emily trying to protect Jack. Hopefully at some point he’ll realise and be grateful for her attempts to keep him safe, even if she did sort of make it sound like she might be planning to head to the altar with 2lb of Semtex as her ‘something new’. Which would somewhat preclude the possibility of a horse-and-Jack-and-sunset ending for her on account of she’d be spread thinly over a sizeable blast zone.

But I think we can all agree that the saddest point of the episode was when Conrad made his grandiose lol-I’m-still-a-jerkface / the-bitch-is-back speech, and mentioned his intention to take his “rightful position” as Master of the House, and then DIDN’T break into song. Such a waste. 😦

And finally – OH MY GODS AND GODDESSES I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS I *TOLD* YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN YOU INVOLVE AIDAN AND THINGS GET MESSY WHY WOULD YOU TRUST HIM WHY YOU KNOW HE IS A LOOSE CANNON AND NOW JACK IS IN DANGER AND IT IS ALL. YOUR. FAULT. *ahem*

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Revenge – S03.02 – Sin

JJ is out on a date this week so Miz took the opportunity to get in first and discuss this week’s Revenge episode. Love you LONG TIME JJ!! If it helps, you really just missed nice-Emily trying to outplay bad-Emily – her conscience may be getting on her nerves, but it’s not getting the better of her just yet, despite what her dad’s journals say to the contrary. “I knew you hadn’t gone full darkside” … “It’s too late.”

So, Aiden really is working with Victoria … Apparently …  But I can’t help but think that if he was working with her, why doesn’t he simply tell her who Emily is? Surely that news is a home run. (Also, I’m assuming Aiden knows the whole story of why Emily wants revenge – JJ, does he know that she’s really Amanda? Surely yes right??) Does that leave an opening for Emily to actually still have him on side. Seems unlikely though. GO HOME AIDEN no one likes you. [Can Aiden get a cameo on GoT?!]

Talking about people no one likes, CONRAD. No one likes you. I agree that you should be selling all your things, but man you’re just a dick. Well played Emily for the nice touch in spiking the drink which made Conrad question his own mortality, however Conrad will never confess –  well certainly that is true for the Conrad-of-the-last-two-seasons. Well played indeed.

Nolan got sexytime. Boom chuka whop wah. Awesomesauce. And now bakes blueberry muffins?! What a hottie. This week Nolan plays the character of “good cop” on Emily’s shoulder. And Emily steals Nolan’s baking and gives it to Conrad. She’s such an excellent caregiver. Cough. I appreciated the re-regifting of the muffins of Victoria to Nolan. Well played writers, well played indeed.

Emily still has the infinity chest of DOOM WITH THE RED SHARPIE!! Actual red sharpie. Yeeeessssssss. And a new victim to cross off – Father Paul – who worked for Grayson Global 10 years ago before finding his higher calling. Guess what? In a huge plot twist (cough) Emily and Daniel have asked Father Paul to preside over their ceremony. Yadda yadda yadda, Conrad paid Paul off in the past for something blemishing: “Better to be honestly unhappy, than dishonestly so”. Father Paul YOU MAKE NO SENSE. I guess it is another character that they need to expand on. And for Emily to beat up. And then for him to fall on his metaphorical sword. Though no red sharpie cross suggests that Emily (a) has either developed a conscious, or (b) we haven;t seen the last of him.

SO MANY RED SHARPIES. Jack has one. Love love love it. That is all.

Charlotte had a superficial conversation to Jack (not with Jack – she cannot maintain a two-sided conversation) about missing Declan and how bad things happen to good people, or something, cross referencing her dad. BOO CHARLOTTE wake up and smell the fact that your father is responsible for his demise.  Also, Charlotte hating on Emily? This is surely superficial – writers are totally clutching at straws. Charlotte loved Emily; and Miz thinks it was reciprocal (as much as it can be when someone is lying). Also, the failed pregnancy reared it’s ugly head again tonight – Charlotte has been blaming herself this whole time. At least she showed some guilt and that it’s miscarriage rather than an abortion. But still URGH storyline from season 2.

Emily wants Patrick part of the wedding? Super confusing. Then she buys one of Patrick’s paintings or Nolan does? I though he had disappeared. FOREVER (cue distressing music). Obviously that didn’t happen. Does forever mean nothing these days!?!? Also, there is still totally a sexual undertone to Victoria and Patrick and introducing him to Victoria’s family? Very very weird. The whole family dinner scene was super.awkward. Hated it. Hate the Patrick storyline. Grumble. (Also seems like Patrick isn’t Emily’s pawn – maybe a third person involved here. Watch this space).

Jack and Emily had a nice meetup. WITH PUPPIES! Foreshadowing /  trying to make this relationship pure. I’m worried about these two. I want these to literally run off into the sunset together. Odds?

French girl and magazine. Don’t like. Like her dress and underwear though. Nuff said. And did Daniel just go there?!?! NO NO NO DEAL dude. Emily has been so nice to you Daniel (well kinda). “I’d told her I’d sleep on it”. OH COME ON DANIEL. Stop drink, and grow up. Though apparently nothing happened, which I find it hard to believe. Grumble grumble.

All-in-all a strong Revenge episode. Miz just hates so many characters … it’s like the show you love to hate. Is it bad that I hope it finishes this season with Emily actually dying, as was shown at the beginning of last episode? Totes not going to happen, but still. Grumble.

PS I want Charlotte’s dress.

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PPS Just realised Asheligh has gone. Hopefully for good. Maybe the plane blew up, though we didn’t hear anything about it so highly unlikley. Hooray! I shall drink to that!